Happiness is a choice we make
Author’s interviews with the “oldest old” reveal wisdom of aging
By Betsy Butler, Ohio Public Employees Retirement System
April 3, 2019 – As our older population increases, a growing number of those over age 65 characterize themselves as having a disability in the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey.
They report having trouble with their vision and hearing, independent living scenarios such as running errands, self-care routines including bathing and dressing, cognitive abilities and walking or climbing stairs. These issues also are reflected in the Administration on Aging’s annual compilation of the latest Census data into its Profile of Older Americans, which charts demographic changes of the over-65 population.
As Bette Davis once said, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.”
Instead of dwelling on what we can lose as we get older, we can think of aging as a process of change, appreciating rewards as we find them. That’s what author John Leland espouses in his book, “Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old.”
To prepare for 85 & Up, a series he wrote for The New York Times in 2015, the middle-aged journalist sought out six New Yorkers aged 85 and older – America’s fastest-growing age group characterized as the “oldest old.”
Leland expected to hear non-stop stories about deteriorating bodies and lonely lives. Instead, he found a half-dozen contented, wise people who offered much on how to live better, regardless of age. They might have met those Census measures of disability, but they didn’t define themselves by those measures. They were happy, focused on living a full, fulfilling life. The more Leland was around them during that six-month period, the happier he became.
Leland learned much from his interviewees; his book is a compilation of those lessons. Here are some of them:
Find ways to live with your limitations, or seek short-term fixes for them.
Don’t fret over things you can’t change. Instead of complaining, give thanks for the things you take for granted.
Concentrate your time and energy on a small, highly curated circle of satisfying people and enjoyable activities.
Practice “selective forgetting.” Remember the positive things, not the negative ones.
Leland started practicing the wisdom these elders preached, and it started sinking in.
“Those days I am kinder, more patient, more productive, less anxious – possibly closer to being the person I always should have been,” he writes. “If we’re living longer, maybe we have an obligation to live better: wiser, kinder, more grateful and forgiving, less vengeful and covetous.
“All those things make life better for everyone, but especially the person trying to live by them. Even when we fail in our attempts to get there.”
Betsy Butler is the Ohio Public Employees Retirement System’s knowledge and issues strategist, researching information on pensions, retirement and health care. Betsy came to OPERS in 2009 after working as a special collections librarian for two OPERS employers: the Ohio History Connection and Miami University.
3 thoughts on “Happiness is a choice we make”
In the March 2019 Retiree Board Report it talks about possible changes to grandfathering provisions for both pre-Medicare and Medicare retirees. I retired January 1, 2013 at age 58 with 30.158 years of service and was eligible for 75% percent grandfathering allowance. I went back to covered position in June 2015 but I plan to leave at end of October 2019. I will be eligible for Medicare November 1, 2019. My HRA allowance through Via Benefits is supposedly based on that 75% allowance, am I going to be reduced to 60% in January 2022, because of the age that I retired, I was not 60, although I had 30 years of coverage.
“The Board will continue to review the possibility of eliminating these grandfathering provisions but still permitting access still permitting access to OPERS health plans without an allowance, and to retain the eligibility grandfathering but to lower the minimum from 75 percent to 60 percent ”
Is there a possibility, (I know that it has not passed yet) that those of us who retired in January 2013 will be affected by this dropping our Via Benefit HRA allowance from 75 to 60 percent.
The Board is carefully exploring several options, and we don’t yet have definitive information to share. No final decisions have been made. We expect the board to make a decision by the end of the year for implementation in approximately 2022.
Very hard to stay positive and “happy” when you retirement and healthcare that you were told you would have at retirement is being cut, cut, cut. I know “healthcare was not promised” but our retirements were affected a few years ago when alot of us suffered mandatory furloughs. Now, from what I’m reading, to keep our pensions safe we’re taking more cuts in our healthcare. Hoping this includes our state politicians. They should take every cut we take. If I managed my household finances like opers is handling our pensions/healthcare, I would be in real trouble.